by Addison DeWitt

Can a closet-case trucker find true love with a hedonistic European ballet star? That is the timeless question posed in Jack Deveau’s 1973 film, Ballet Down the Highway.

Set in Manhattan in the very early 70’s, Ballet Down the Highway is another one of those ambitious early porn films that seemed to want to be seen as a legitimate motion picture as well as a vehicle that would appeal to more prurient interests. For the most part it succeeds.

The film opens as the winter sun is rising over Manhattan. A classical music piece played on piano serves as a soundtrack while we watch The Big Apple stretching; store fronts being set up for the day, commuters making their way to the streets; and then we are transported to a large rehearsal loft were a dance troupe is being put through the motions. As the credits continue, juxtaposition occurs as we cut from the dance studio to a truck yard. This is actually a rather artsy bit in that one moment we are watching lithe bodies in motion, and next we are watching monstrous machines picking up and dropping off loads of shipment.

Once the credits have ended we are back in the studio (which appears to be a few floors above the Ed Sullivan theatre), and are introduced to the film’s hero, Ivan Hogan (Henk Van Dijn), who is apparently the greatest male ballet star since Baryshnikov. Everyone fawns over the dancer as he enters the room. Is it because he’s the greatest? Or is the fact that he is wearing a pair of jeans so tight, he’s got “VBL” (visible brief line). Nonetheless, applause all around is heard.

A suggestion is made that Ivan Hogan dance with the troupe’s leading lady, Alicia (the statuesque Joan Bell), and here is one of the film’s first laughable moments. Once Hogan undresses and puts on his dance attire (and he does have a great ass), he and Alicia dance. Now, I don’t know much about ballet but from the looks of things she’s doing all the work and he’s just standing around flailing his arms and jumping a bit. Actually, if you pay attention to this scene you’ll notice that the camera rarely shows much of him. It constantly cuts away or only shows him from the waist up while we focus on poor Alicia who is dancing her bony ass off!

Anyway, halfway through their number Alicia bursts in to tears and flees the room. (Maybe she was overcome with emotion, but I think she was just pissed off that she was the one doing all the hard work while her partner was getting all the adulation.)

During all of this ballet student John (Jeff Sullivan), an impish looking bean pole of a guy, is making goo-goo eyes at Ivan. Once rehearsal has ended Ivan and John go to the YMCA to swim and eventually decide to hook up.

Mind you we are almost fifteen minutes into this film before there is even a suggestion of anything sexual! However, when the boys do get together it is well worth the wait..

Sullivan and Van Dijn have beautiful sinewy bodies and look believable as they begin making love in Ivan’s bed. The sex here starts very playfully with both men wrestling around, and then it turns to something a tad more energetic as the guys begin kissing and biting at each other, almost as if they wanted to eat each other alive. Finally, the rough-house foreplay gives way to some gentle and sensual love making as the duo begin a mutual suck-off that gives way to Sullivan topping Van Dijn. Here it seems that Sullivan may very well have been a dancer as his love making style is both deliberate as well as rhythmic; Sullivan moves beautifully as he sexes his partner -- it’s like, well, it’s like he’s dancing. Once Sullivan has his orgasm and shoots his load all over his partner’s back we cut to Van Dijn now standing on the bed, facing a full length mirror watching himself jerk off -- and this is the first clue as to the type of character Ivan Hogan really is.

Once they are through John and Ivan repair to the dancer’s kitchen for a light meal and Ivan shows his true colors by telling his new friend that he’ll have to leave as he’s got plans for the rest of the day. John seems ok with this but wants to know if they’ll see each other again. Ivan is non-committal at best and sends John on his way.

From here we see Ivan driving his little foreign sports coupe to the country where he has another home. Oddly enough when Ivan stops to pick up his mail from a neighbor (an older gentleman with a beard) the two men converse in Russian and the entire scene is subtitled. Here we find out that he is waiting for delivery of his “Dutch Music Box” (and if that doesn’t sound like the set up for a dirty joke, I don’t what does).

Settled into his country estate, Ivan strips down to nothing and goes outside to exercise (note that it is clearly the dead of winter). Once more we get to marvel over Van Dijn and his tight frame as he stretches and squats.

As he continues his somewhat yoga-like workout a delivery truck pulls up to his driveway and Ivan, with out covering up, strolls over to the driver and tells him to just put the music box in his living room. Once more it is kind of laughable the way this scene is set. I know this is a porn film but come on -- showing up buck naked to greet the delivery man in the dead of winter -- outside?!

Be that as it may, Ivan continues his workout while delivery guy Joe (Gary Hunt) struggles to get the somewhat cumbersome package out of the truck and into Ivan’s house. Once he does finally achieve this end Joe spies Ivan through the window and likes what he sees. So he makes himself comfortable, finds a pair of Ivan’s underwear and jerks off on Ivan’s sofa, shooting his load into the dancer’s briefs and shoving them into his pocket. And then he falls asleep!! Wow, what a classy guy. Joe’s nap is interrupted by Ivan, who comes back in to the house while this bit of snappy dialogue is exchanged:

“What’s that?” Joe asks pointing to the parcel he’s just delivered.

“It’s a Dutch Music Box,” responds Ivan.

“Aw man, you should just get a hi-fi,” is Joe’s answer.

Damn, once more they blew the chance for a dirty joke!

After Joe leaves, Ivan dresses and makes his way to the local diner where he’s going to wait for a bus back into the city since his car broke down. Here he bumps into Joe the truck driver again. As the men converse a waitress comes up to them for their order and recognizes her newest patron. “Oh Mister Hogan, I am such a fan,” the somewhat slutty waitress (Helen Morganstory -- don’t you love that name?) says in a thick Brooklyn accent.

When Joe finds out that Ivan is a dancer he says, “I thought only fags danced in the ballet.”

Well, Joe might be homophobic but that does not stop him from inviting Ivan to his truck for a quick nasty blowjob. After Ivan is done servicing the blue-collar guy they decide to go to a motel. Once at their room Joe puts Ivan through the paces and delivers a nasty fuck to his new friend.

Gary Hunt (who plays Joe) is an interesting type. He’s not the kind you’d think you might see in gay porn. Not exactly handsome, not buff, but there is something about his husky frame, his mop of unruly curly hair, and his attitude that is exciting and somewhat attractive. And when he goes at it he does it with such abandon that it is kind of scary. I am pretty sure that Van Dijn might have been sore after being pummeled by the big galoot.

After the guys finish up Ivan offers to leave him tickets for his performance tomorrow night but Joe grows defensive and claims, “Nobody give me anything, if I want tickets, I will buy them!”

Meanwhile, back in New York, poor John can’t seem to hook up with Ivan. For whatever reason he is smitten with the prima-ballerina even though Ivan always seems too busy to see him whenever he calls.

The next day we find out that Joe has bought tickets to the ballet…and lucky us, we once more get to see Ivan “dance.”

A brief ballet piece is set in a theatre with what appears to be legitimate dancers and of course the aforementioned Alicia (who once more pirouettes her way into our hearts). Of course Ivan is supposed to be the star and once he bounds stiffly onto the stage (he must have still been sore from last night) one cannot help but laugh as he is clearly out-danced by everyone else. For the most part it looks like he’s doing jumping jacks.

The ballet over Ivan returns to his dressing room waiting for Joe and once more he refuses calls from Jeff. Finally thinking that Joe is a no show, Ivan calls Jeff and invites him over to his place. What a tool.

Back at Ivan’s apartment, Joe finally shows up, drunk. Instead of throwing him out, Ivan ignores him.

Joe flops onto Ivan’s sofa and starts confessing his homosexuality to him and then he gets up and turns the radio on and does a rather clumsy, graceless strip to some generic funk music, and all the while, Ivan ignores him, playing solitaire.

Have you ever had a drunken guest at your house that would not leave, or maybe picked up the wrong guy after a night at the bars? If so, you will probably relate to this scene.

Eventually Jeff shows up and rather than question what Joe is doing there he tells Ivan that he finds the slattern sort of cute…this leads to a threeway in Ivan’s bedroom where the men all take turns at each other, and once more the hungry bottom, Ivan is banged into next week by both the dancer and the trucker.

Once the sex has ended Jeff leaves while Joe and Ivan spend the night together until Ivan (ever the tool) tells him he has to leave.

Joe returns to a rather blue collar bar where he had been earlier and tells his trashy pals that he caught his girlfriend screwing another guy last night. Then tells them that he screwed the guy his girlfriend was with. The other men do not believe him and we come to find out that they have all been onto Joe for a long time.

Later on three of the brutes follow Joe back to Ivan’s. Once more I had to laugh when one of the dock-worker types recognized Ivan, though he calls him “Mr. Hergan.” Be that as it may, the three big guys tear Joe’s clothes from him, humiliate him, and end up taking turns fucking him while Ivan sits with headphones on, detached and watching the somewhat disturbing scene without any hint of emotion on his face.

The sex now is raw and nasty, and of note is one unaccredited daddy-bear type who roughs up Joe and works up one hell of a sweat as he rides the curly haired guy like a bucking bronco.

Eventually Ivan joins in on the fun, an orgy ensues and both Joe and Ivan are made to bottom for the three horny thugs. Make no mistake, this is Ballet Down the Highway greatest moment. The sex is raw, dirty, and hotter than hell, and after a point the viewer seems to be just watching a combination of arms, legs, asses and dicks swirling in a sexual stew that may leave them as worn out as the actors on-screen appear to be.

In the next scene, Ivan awakes and his living room resembles a Botticelli painting, with husky naked men draped across the furniture and carpet asleep. Ivan wakes the men up and throws them all out.

For some reason in the next scene John has moved in with Ivan (despite everything) and the two men celebrate their new-found domestic bliss by fucking on the floor of the apartment. And again, the viewer sees that Jeff Sullivan and Henry Van Dijn seem to be made for each other (sexually at least). Seriously, these two are a fucking pleasure to watch as they suck, fuck and kiss with wild abandon.

Finally, after the sex, we fade back into the living room. It is dawn again and Ivan’s apartment is filled with gray light as Manhattan wakes back up. The final scene shows the men in silhouette on a rooftop dancing (well Sullivan is dancing, Van Dijn is just doing more of those jumping jacks) as the sun slowly rises higher in the Gotham sky. Yes, it’s all very romantic but between you and me, I could never stomach someone like Ivan Hogan; self centered guys just make me ill. Seriously, if I was dancing on that rooftop I’d have learned how to do a battement glissé and kicked his ass from the roof, reveling in the sound of his screams as he plummeted to the sidewalk, but hey, that’s just me.

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